from nagaoka with love

My heart broke to see this.  The story is very similar to mine. three siblings all girls she was the eldest the disease related to brain  died on the 1st of Syawal The only thing that makes the difference is I didn't have time to put on her baju Raya.  All were ready, I planned for us to wear baju raya and have a family photo on the hari raya, no matter what condition she was in.  I took both of her sisters to KL, just to celebrate raya with her. But Allah's plan was the opposite.  What I have lost was never meant to remain in my life.  What has come into my life was meant to come. I do not waiver on this belief. Believing in God doesn't make the pain go away.  It makes it manageable- there is ease and relief coming. Believing in God doesn't remove the wound, but it bandages it and helps it heals. Believing in God and fate is what reminds me that everything I experience serves a purpose. Knowing that Allah encompasses all things in His wisdom makes me ...

Sejak mula mengajar, saya selalu dapat pelajar lelaki. maklumlah subjek teknikal, makanya lelakilah yang paling sesuai.  Semasa di kluang, satu-satunya sekolah yang saya dapat mengajar mengikut optian, saya mendapat sekumpulan pelajar yang betul-betul samseng.  Mereka ini langsung tidak diberikan harapan, perokok tegar sejak kecil sampai bibir dan jari birat, pelajar-pelajar bermasalah dan samada gagal/ atau mendapat keputusan tercorot dalam pmr. Pendek kata, kalu tengok muka memang sebijik muka orang pecah rumah lah. Bersama nurul, bukan sedikit ujian dan dugaan yang kami hadapi untuk mendidik mereka, sampai hati sendiri kena jadik keras mcm tembok batu. Dan semalam, seseorang menegur saya di facebook. Mohd Farhan: salam cikgu  saya:----  Mohd Farhan: sihat..ckgu igt sy ag x?  saya:--- Mohd Farhan: btl2  hihi geng degil  ckgu kt oversea ag ke?  saya: mcmna interview polis? (dia pernah minta sy doakan ms nk pgi intvw)  Mohd Farha...

melihat seorang kawan menghadapi kesukaran yang amat sangat untuk melahirkan zuriatnya baru-baru ini, membuatkan saya terkenang kembali peristiwa sama 7 tahun dulu. pengalaman pertama yang masih segar bugar dalam ingatan. sakitnya memang tidak tertahan, dan tak terungkap dengan perkataan.  hanya yang pernah mengalami dan merasainya tahu bagaimana kroniknya di saat kita bergadai nyawa melahirkan zuriat sendiri. pernah rasa berperang sendirian dalam labour room selama 8 jam. pernah rasa dipindahkan secara emergency ke hospital lain semasa rahim sudah pon terbuka 10cm. Driver ambulance memecut mengalahkan schumacher, bunyi hon bertali arus sedang 2 orang nurse memegang badan dan mententeramkan saya. pernah rasa pengalaman di"vacuum" bayi, dan akhirnya masih tak keluar juga pernah rasa pengalaman di"forcep"bayi, yang akhirnya bayi berjaya dikeluarkan tapi kepala dan mukanya bengkak dan lebam sana sini. pernah rasa pengalaman dijahit selama 2 jam sambil mendengar...

By her school sport day, she's been busy attending the training almost everyday during school time. Her skin became darker and she get tired easily every time she reached home. So came her mother saying this,  "kakak lari kuat-kuat yea, nanti mama n papa datang tgk kakak". But with an expression of hopeless she replied this, "kakak selalu lari last sekali la mama". Mother was so sad to hear that, but like every mom in the world who just want her kid to be happy, she tried to comfort or at least to uplifting her spirit by saying this,  " Takpe, ini cuma sukan jek bukan penting sangat pun. kakak lari lah suka-suka". That night mother told father about this and this was what father's respond, "Alah, kalau menang bukan dapat hadiah pon kan?" " dapatlah papa!" "Oh kalau macam tuh, kalau Dada kalah papa bagi hadiah!!!" Actually it was a part of conversation, and to be truth i was sad to look at her face when she ...

"If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive."-Mother Teresa Yesterday i was not feeling happy, my heart was gloomy and frustrated.  Today to make it worse i feel  so very down, disappointed,  deject, angry and upset of something else,  and it did affect me in everything i do.  i try to  calm down, taking some breath by going out somewhere by bicycle.  i then realize life is too short to be worried about something small, frivolous.  I must try to learn how to forgive and forget especially when it involve those my loved ones.  Not everything we did would satisfy and win other peoples' heart and i'm not perfect though. i may never forget but i can choose to forgive and move on.  InsyAllah with time flies the pain and hurt will fade away.  As one once said " forgiveness can be a wonderful act of healing yourself mentally, emotionally and spiritually" Sesungguhnya amarah dan benci membenci adalah sifat yang dimurkai Allah...

i used NOT to agree with the term before.  Rasa rimas pulak kalu hari-hari kita duk dengar ulang tayang benda yang sama, atau pun meluahkan benda yang sama.  Pada saya hanya 2 orang yang bercinta dan berkasih sayang itu sahaja yang perlu tahu hubungan hati  mereka.  Dari bahasa badan dan isyarat mata kita tahu perasaan satu sama lain, orang lain peduli apa kan.  Kata-kata keramat itu bagaikan tiada maknanya jika diucap setiap hari, setiap masa.  For me, love can best be expressed through eyes and behavior. Tapi en abang saya bukan begitu orangnya.  So, saya dipupuk dan diajar to express love by words since start.  So after a long years of marriage (9 years is a long enough to learn how to express love), i've accustomed to the habits. But in these recent years, when he become so busy with studies, i've to admit that i missed those things that i used to heard before.  it is not that he neglected me at all but being a full time house...

One fine morning, there was one little girl who whining her father for a bunch of flowers to be given to her teacher.  It was a teachers day and she want to give the flowers to her classroom teacher as everybody in the class were intended to do so.  However, father refused to buy because it was not their family's customs to celebrate any event by giving flowers and moreover a bunch of beautiful flowers of the florist at that time was a bit  costly .  But the girl insisted to have them and was about to cry when suddenly father came out with this one brilliant idea.  He took a cutter and  disappeared  out of the house.  He came back later with a bunch of bougainvillea in his hand. He then took a secondhand ribbon out of nowhere and tied it at the base of the stem.  It was perfectly done, he handed to his daughter, smiling.  the girl anyhow didn't feel satisfied because after all she just want the one that from the florist.   whe...

semalam dada type nih, name saye dada. umo saye 7tahun. rumah saye danchi. saye nak jadik dokter. ulasan saya: rasa terkejut, suka pon ada sebab usually she is more into nihonggo.   walaupon nak masuk 7 tahun, untuk kanak-kanak yang sepertinya: tinggal dan membesar di persekitaran yang menggunakan nihonggo saya rasa satu perkara yang bagus bila dia memilih untuk menulis dalam bahasa melayu walaupun kanak-kanak di malaysia yang seusianya dah more advance kan. ejaan untuk perkataan digunakan sangatlah pasar, saye>>>saya, dokter>>>doktor, he3 rosak bahasa ibunda, for sure amik masa nak tuning balik nih may be dia terpengaruh dengan bahasa harian yang kami gunakan or dengan bahasa chatting yang mama dia selalu guna. umo>>>umur, jadik>>jadi. Tapi kami notice satu perkara iaitu Ari chan kalu balik malaysia, vocabularynya makin bertambah dan bahasa melayunya bertambah baik.  Rasanya, tak susah nak gilap balik kemahiran berbahasa nih once dah ...

have you ever seen this kind of machine? Actually it is a vending machine for selling baby diaper.  I was very attracted to it when i was first time saw.  But you could see the machine everywhere here, in fact there is other machine that sell bun, cigarette, ice cream beside selling drinks which commonly we have in Malaysia. These vending machines are placed everywhere and they are in good condition and well maintain. I was away for sometime, and may be i missed something but i guess they are a step ahead in technology and a very highly civilized society.

sejak hari pertama menjejakkan kaki di sini, benda nih dah bermain-main kat kepala dan setiap kali itu jugaklah saya cuba mengelak untuk bercakap atau berfikir tentangnya. Sehinggalah minggu lepas, benda nih terjadi lagi kepada seorang kawan di sini. Saya akhirnya berfikir secara serius, apa pendirian saya kalau ianya terjadi kepada diri sendiri?? Saya pun bertanyalah kepada hb, jika terjadi kematian di kalangan ahli keluarga terdekat, macamana?? Dia pun sebenarnya mengelak untuk berfikir benda yang sama.  Saya katakan pada dia, bukan mahu mendoakan yang tidak2 kerana ajal dan maut tuhan yang tentukan tetapi sekurang-kurangnya kita sudah bersedia. Kata dia, tak payah balik pun tak pe sebab kalau balik pun memang tak sempat nak jumpa.  Tetapi dia tidaklah menghalang kalau saya ingin balik jika sekiranya melibatkan keluarga di sebelah saya. Memang takkan sempat jumpa, yang pergi tetap pergi dan kita seharusnya berdoa untuk roh arwah.  Tetapi saya mahu bersama...

Last Wednesday i brought my sister and my daughters to go shopping in town.  After finished we decided to go somewhere else and while we came out from the shop there was very strong wind blew outside.  We headed to the car, and Dada tried to open the car door when suddenly the wind pushed the door strongly caused it to be open widest to its max.  Unfortunately, there was a car next to mine and it was about to reverse and the door knocked that car accidentally. Oh may God! I was so panicked and rushed to see what had happened.  The knocked had left a mark on the car body and the women came out from the car with her surprised and anger face.  For the whole of my life here, this is the thing that i really try to avoid, which is getting trouble with Japanese. With the bad weather that became colder and windy, i asked my sister to bring the kids in while I  stayed outside to settle the problem.  I was so scared and nervous that i could...

being an eldest daughter in a family bring me closer to ayah and i have to admit that ayah and me are having this strong special bond since ago.  With me, he freely talking about the past, his childhood time and all experiences he had gone through in life. Since i was kid, people and relatives used to called me 'ayah's sweetheart' and it really don't bother me at all, furthermore me myself really looks alike him a lots. as far as i remembered, ayah used to be a strict father when we were kids especially everything with connecting to school matter.  We are not allowed to take leave from school even if we got sick and for that sake i was more than once awarded a full attendance prizes at school.  We were trained to be strong and disciplines was one of his fundamental elements in raising the four of us.  There was no tv at maghrib time, we should had have finished showered before maghrib, no fireworks during raya time, getting up early during weekends, havin...

it's been a week, and i'm still not well.  Very bad flu and cough, so as hb and dada.  May be because of the changes weather (korea-nagaoka) that i think the major reason why we are still not recover so soon.  The new year holidays end last monday and the kids off to school again yesterday. And i wasnt do anything yesterday since the flu became worse if not worst! Our new year holidays was a boring one, as everybody in the house was in pain (except  for ari chan).  We originally had wanted to go out and play with the snow, but then the plan was cancelled due the bad condition we had.  Nevertheless we did some activities like making cookies together, watching tv, doing homework and go to the shopping complex .  Oh ya, we had a friend coming over to our place and overnight.  It was so happy to have you here As! from left: making cookies, doing homework and play puzzle. ari,dada must go place each time we going out. It is still snowing...

Sungguh sepanjang hidup bersama, saya masih lagi blom atau dapat memahami lelaki atau lebih tepat lagi suami sepenuhnya.  Karekter yang sungguh berbeza antara kami ini mungkin jgak satu sebab kenapa keserasian itu dapat dicipta dan menjadikan perhubungan ini menjadi menarik disebabkan banyak 'ceritanya'. Lelaki biasanya suka memendam sesuatu, bercakap bila perlu dan tidak suka dibebel.  Berbanding saya yang suka bercakap, sebaik melihat kelibat dia jek terus mulut saya mula bercerita: apa yang saya tahu, saya dengar, saya lihat, saya rasa, saya pikir, saya baca dan yang saya mahu sepanjang seharian saya duduk di rumah saya luahkan sejurus dia tiba di muka pintu.  Kadang-kadang respon dia tidak seperti yang diharapkan. sy bercerita punyalah panjang, punyalah excited dan dia cuma menjawap "iya?" jek.  Kadang-kadang saya protes dan buat perang dingin tak nak bercakap berhari-hari,  dia kata sunyi rumah kalu saya tak cakap dan saya pulak rasa mendidih jek sbb terpak...

my sister and me are totally two different person.  though she is the only sister i have, we seemed not to get along in anyway, anythings we do since small.  she is so fashionable, up to date, easygoing  and may be a little bit prettier. and me the vice versa one: like any other mak cik yang agak outdated specially psl fashion n make-up,  not-so-easy-going person, and agak kolot psl couple or boyfriends and so forth...the differences makes us far and she/me is not the person that we trusted each other to tell about the secret or the girls talk that supposed to be at the teenager time.  ours are full of gaduh, gaduh n gaduh....selalunya mak lah jadi orang tengah yang mententeramkan keadaan. dada n ari and now, it seems to replay when i see ari and dada.  they play together at first, bergelak ketawa, bergurau senda berdua sebelum akhirnya menepuk sana, menepuk sini, pukul sana, pukul sini, then bergaduh dan akhirnya menangis. Dada mungkin boleh bersabar pad...

nih updates tuan punya blog. 1. mendeko kek tetiba jek rasa teruja nak mendeko kek lately, lebih2 lg bila tgk ita n kamalia beria-ia mendeko. last week jek buat 2 biji kek coklat, semata-mata sbb nak mendeko. actually selalu jgk buat kek, tapi kek bodo jek la yang x de deko-deko nih.  bila dah deko nih, selera nak mkan tuh bertambah lagi la... kek 1 kek 2 rasa kek nih memang sedap dah, tapi bab finishing tuh x brapa nk comeyy...takpe..takpe practice makes perfect kan? pas nih, bercita-cita nak buat kek cheese plak, tapi nak carik bahan memang masalah besar kat sni. akan diusahakan, insyA.. 2. mengait tetiba jek rasa nak mengait semula lepas tengok orang lain mengait. dan kalu nak tahu, japanese memang terror bab kait mengait nih.  kalu tengok buku-buku mengait, comey-comey suma pattern nyer n rasa nak buat suma. Penahlah tolong mak kait cebek (chair back??) time muda-muda dulu.   Sebenarnya xde plan nk kait apa, just nk polish balik kemahiran yang dah semakin lupa...

walaupun berada jauh, tidak sedikit pun rasa tertinggal dari Malaysia. saya masih berhubung dengan keluarga dan kawan-kawan, makan dan memasak makanan Malaysia, membaca surat khabar melayu, bercakap Melayu dengan anak-anak dan kawan-kawan, malah masih menonton tv dan mendengar lagu-lagu melayu terkini(melalui internet). Pendek kata memang mcm duduk kat Malaysia jugak! Jadinya segala permasalahan sosial yang berlaku begitu ketara sekarang ni memang tidak lepas menjadi kebimbangan saya juga. isu-isu lapuk seperti pembuangan bayi yang tidak berdosa dan kes ragut yang semakin berleluasa even di dalam pagar rumah sendiri benar-benar menyesakkan lagi dada dan fikiran. segala punca dan langkah penyelesaian kepada masalah tersebut dah banyak dibincangkan dalam surat khabar. Malas dah rasa nak ulas atau panjang-panjangkan.. saya juga seorang ibu, pernah rasa melahirkan tetapi hairan bagaimana mereka ini begitu kuat dan mampu untuk melahirkan sendiri dalam keadaan serba kekurangan dan tak ...

Selama jadi cikgu, tak pernah ada perasaan nih. Maklum lah, ajar subjek teknikal, anak murid ramai lelaki, sumanya sempoi dan tak de perasaan.  Kita pon dah jadi kebal dan immune dengan benda-benda yang kecil dan remeh.  Pernah jugak menyumbang sesuatu kepada pencapaian sekolah, tapi tak pernah rasa mcm bila dpt mesej nih, Remove Annys Syue   assalamualaikum ckg ayu...hanis nie... sy nk say thanx sbb pnh aja sy chemstry f4 dlu... n ive got A for chem in spm...maceh ckg ^_^ March 12 at 1:05pm  ·  Comment  ·  Like  ·  See Wall-to-Wall you're most welcome hanis syuhadah!

hari nih sunny,dengan suhu maksimum 2 darjah celcius. matahari bawa cahaya, kalau org2 cina suka rumah mereka menghadap matahari terbit, ada ong katanya. harap2 matahari nih bawa rahmat, bawa pergi semua virus, amin..

dulu pernah la mengeluh ngan mak, penat btol nak jaga anak masa kita demam/sakit. pesan emak, "kita kalu dh jadik emak, sakit demam mcmanapon kena buat2 sihat!". aduhai emak.. masa kami berdua terbaring kelesuan seharian di rumah, dada ckp" bangunla mama, masak-masak!". Fareeha pulak sibuk duk mengorek-ngorek mata saya... ya, saya perlu sihat atau buat2 sihat untuk mereka..sbb mereka sangat2 bergantung dengan saya!