The value of love
Hubby and I have a very special communication as he know that his beloved wife is a bit stubborn and will not simply laps up on his ideas. Always the discussion ended up with an arguments or unsatisfactions. So, to deliver his messages there would be some hint or an analogy of something that would make the discussion alive and also to survey my first impression on it. If I took the matter rationally, he will go further to the main objective. But this one particular email that he sent to me really make me stunned and speechless. It summoned up memories of my mother.
During my childhood, I used to see my mother run her responsibilities towards the family very hard. Apart from that she will treat the children’s and husband’s needs all along the day. I saw my mother did everything for my father: cooking, dished up the meals, served the husband on table, washed my father dishes and even prepare the table napkin for him.
At night when we feel really want to sleep in beauty, mother will prepare the bed for her husband as the husband don’t know how to arrange the pillows that could make them comfort to sleep with. Where to get the blanket, where to put the extra pillow and tomorrow morning, as usual she will cleared away the bed.
After washed the clothes and the clothes get dried, she will iron them neatly and put them in the closet. Later, father will asked for his clothes, and mother will get them hurriedly. Father really depends on mother for every needs even for a simple thing, so as mother treated him like a king. The routine kept going for years even now mother is still doing so.
As a child, I grew up with these customs and when I get exposed to the real world I felt like mother has been abused all this while. Father treated her like a slave and there was no tolerance at all. Sometimes I felt really mad of what he did to mother, but I just sat silent. I promised to myself that my future husband must be some kind people of hardworking, very tolerate, loving and understanding as I’m going to be a working wife.
And now I’m married to a husband, and yes with all the characteristics that I listed above, alhamdulillah. But to tell the truth, even though I worked and get tired when reaching home, I felt happy to do something for him. To wait him home, prepare all the needs: teatime, cooked, dinner, prepare the bed before sleep and his clothes. Even a very simple thing, just wanted to make him happy like surprising him a cake for his birthday, I did all that willingly. I found that the same thing goes to me like what my mother did to father.
And the email that I mentioned earlier, verified everything that made me confused for ages.
It is LOVE that make mother run her responsibilities towards the family sincerely
It is LOVE that make mother treated her husband lovingly
It is LOVE that make mother take care of the family caringly
It is LOVE that make mother endured great hardships for such a long time
And it is LOVE that bring me here, leaving everything behind to accompany him finishing up his studies
The answer is LOVE. Because of LOVE people prepared to die. It is a ‘bibik’ that do the house works for money. It is a hooker that set the fees for each of her services. Without LOVE, marriage is a burden instead of abomination.
But unlike mother, there were sometimes when a mind encumbered with all sorts of problems, I nagged hubby for not helping me on the house works.
‘Menentukan nilai, sebagai pendorong kita melakukan sesuatu adalah sangat penting.
Nilai itu akan mencorakkan tingkah laku kita terhadap pekerjaan yang kita lakukan.
Kalau pekerjaan diukur dengan nilai wang, maka kita akan berhadapan dengan banyak masalah , walaupun wang berjaya diperolehi.
Jika seorang isteri mengungkit di hadapan suami, bahawa kerja rumahnya, kerjanya 'melayan suami', tidak mungkin mampu dibalas walaupun dengan bayaran RM 2000 sebulan, maka nilai apakah yang ada pada dirinya? ’
Without sincerity, we gain nothing but exhausted.
Back to my parent, now they are spending their golden times together: go back and forth to mosque, spending money on gold, changing home furniture, waiting impatiently for grandchildren’s return, eating nutritious and delicious foods, buying valuable, traveling, do gardening, enjoy eating roti canai at the mamak’s stall in the middle of night and hoping for the second chance to perform hajj, insyA. Let them be and happy as they have gone through so much pain in raising the four of us.
As for my hubby, you did a very well job cause I got the message and i'm touched.
During my childhood, I used to see my mother run her responsibilities towards the family very hard. Apart from that she will treat the children’s and husband’s needs all along the day. I saw my mother did everything for my father: cooking, dished up the meals, served the husband on table, washed my father dishes and even prepare the table napkin for him.
At night when we feel really want to sleep in beauty, mother will prepare the bed for her husband as the husband don’t know how to arrange the pillows that could make them comfort to sleep with. Where to get the blanket, where to put the extra pillow and tomorrow morning, as usual she will cleared away the bed.
After washed the clothes and the clothes get dried, she will iron them neatly and put them in the closet. Later, father will asked for his clothes, and mother will get them hurriedly. Father really depends on mother for every needs even for a simple thing, so as mother treated him like a king. The routine kept going for years even now mother is still doing so.
As a child, I grew up with these customs and when I get exposed to the real world I felt like mother has been abused all this while. Father treated her like a slave and there was no tolerance at all. Sometimes I felt really mad of what he did to mother, but I just sat silent. I promised to myself that my future husband must be some kind people of hardworking, very tolerate, loving and understanding as I’m going to be a working wife.
And now I’m married to a husband, and yes with all the characteristics that I listed above, alhamdulillah. But to tell the truth, even though I worked and get tired when reaching home, I felt happy to do something for him. To wait him home, prepare all the needs: teatime, cooked, dinner, prepare the bed before sleep and his clothes. Even a very simple thing, just wanted to make him happy like surprising him a cake for his birthday, I did all that willingly. I found that the same thing goes to me like what my mother did to father.
And the email that I mentioned earlier, verified everything that made me confused for ages.
It is LOVE that make mother run her responsibilities towards the family sincerely
It is LOVE that make mother treated her husband lovingly
It is LOVE that make mother take care of the family caringly
It is LOVE that make mother endured great hardships for such a long time
And it is LOVE that bring me here, leaving everything behind to accompany him finishing up his studies
The answer is LOVE. Because of LOVE people prepared to die. It is a ‘bibik’ that do the house works for money. It is a hooker that set the fees for each of her services. Without LOVE, marriage is a burden instead of abomination.
But unlike mother, there were sometimes when a mind encumbered with all sorts of problems, I nagged hubby for not helping me on the house works.
‘Menentukan nilai, sebagai pendorong kita melakukan sesuatu adalah sangat penting.
Nilai itu akan mencorakkan tingkah laku kita terhadap pekerjaan yang kita lakukan.
Kalau pekerjaan diukur dengan nilai wang, maka kita akan berhadapan dengan banyak masalah , walaupun wang berjaya diperolehi.
Jika seorang isteri mengungkit di hadapan suami, bahawa kerja rumahnya, kerjanya 'melayan suami', tidak mungkin mampu dibalas walaupun dengan bayaran RM 2000 sebulan, maka nilai apakah yang ada pada dirinya? ’
Without sincerity, we gain nothing but exhausted.
Back to my parent, now they are spending their golden times together: go back and forth to mosque, spending money on gold, changing home furniture, waiting impatiently for grandchildren’s return, eating nutritious and delicious foods, buying valuable, traveling, do gardening, enjoy eating roti canai at the mamak’s stall in the middle of night and hoping for the second chance to perform hajj, insyA. Let them be and happy as they have gone through so much pain in raising the four of us.
As for my hubby, you did a very well job cause I got the message and i'm touched.
My parent
khaleeda with mak tok n atok ayah
Comments
...and yet kita pelik nape marriage failed..kan? org dulu2 w/pun kawin tanpa cinta pun diaorg bley kekal sampai akhir hayat...
org2 zmn dulu mmg setia, lyn suami first class kn? tak pe2...bole berubah kita nih kn??